Is it true what they say, when we’re told we’re replaceable?
The ability that we as humans have to create meaningful connections is beautiful. Just like investments, successful relationships are a result of the dedication and commitment one has towards another. It wasn’t until I started to self reflect, that I realized the people who are in my life are a result of the time and effort we’ve both simultaneously put into being in each others lives. In creating connections with individuals that may pass the test of time, we experience the beauty of intimacy and vulnerability within relationships that have the power to change us dramatically.
Although the connection one cultivates towards another feels everlasting, the inevitable may happen: the process in which growing apart from each other leads to the possibility of a relationship coming to an end. When we are left with the absence of someone, we are left with traces and memories of those who once solidified a place in our lives. With the ending of things being a common theme in life, we soon find other things to take its place. However, when it comes to something more substantial like relationships, are people just as replaceable? Or do we simply create new connections?
Throughout our lives we experience different types of connections that affect us drastically. When it comes to romance and friendships we struggle with maintaining both connections fairly, but each relationship goes hand in hand towards our personal development. Without romance we wouldn’t experience the excitement of uncertainty, whereas friendships encase us in the safety of reliability. To place more emphasis on one relationship is to belittle the importance of the other, which is why it’s important to nurture both connections.
Romance is self indulgent. We fall in love with people and fully immerse ourselves in their entities, becoming enamored with having their presence in our lives. When we become lovestruck, our sense of reality is altered into a state of euphoria, as we begin to experience love that seems intensely profound and intimate. However, as time goes on the honeymoon phase begins to diminish and we are brought back to reality. We start to see faults within the person we so deeply love, while our flaws become exposed for us to see. The possibility of a relationship ending becomes apparent once both individuals have grown too far apart, to the point where amicable reconciliation seems unattainable. In most instances the ending of a relationship ends in turmoil, a biased separation where we begin to feel unwanted. When we find ourselves in this situation, resentment towards the person who left us becomes prominent, as we are left to question how our actions instigated the beginning of the end.
Where romance is self indulgent, friendships are redemptive. A different type of love is shared between two individuals where reciprocity is easier to practice as the pressure to live up to expectations are nonexistent. Friendships come into fruition based off self disclosure and mutual understanding, which cultivates the strong foundation a relationship needs in order to grow. An intimate bond is formed when we voluntarily showcase the sides of us we feel too afraid to expose to our families and partner, one that supersedes the levels of familiarity we may feel in other connections. However, the strength of a bond we so easily maintained at one point is challenged as we begin to age and experience life for what it is. The ending of a friendship becomes prevalent when two individuals grow apart for reasons that begin to strain the relationship. With the loss of a friend, we lose a part of our identity that was safely displayed and accepted, unbeknownst to anyone else.
When a relationship ends, we alleviate our pain by adopting the idea that a person is replaceable in order to save our pride. We often forget that pride and love cannot coexist, we have to let go of our ego if want to experience love that is profoundly genuine. In losing someone we intertwined our hearts with, we are forced to face ourselves in a new perspective. Instead of being surrounded by those we once loved, we are left alone to figure out how to deal with the uncomfortable sense of a newfound void within our life.
The beauty in the cultivation of relationships lies in how deep individuals can connect. When we find those whose souls align with ours, we feel as though we have finally found a place of comfort. Whether its’ romantic or platonic, the ending of a relationship can be bittersweet. We are left with the memories of a connection that no longer exists, an everlasting imprint that stays with us. It’s easier to believe that an intense connection that was once shared with someone could be replaced when we feel hurt or rejected by those we once grew to love.
As we reflect on our past we start believing that somehow in an alternate universe, the possibility of having certain people back in our lives exists. Self evaluation may start to occur, where redirecting anger and blame on our entities leads to us to questioning our own value. We start to believe that maybe we aren’t as worthy as we thought we were, because we are missing someone’s presence from our lives. However, we seem to forget the reoccurring theme of life: nothing lasts forever.
If we reframed the notion that we are entitled to someone’s existence based off a connection, to simply regarding people as lessons shown to us in human form, the pain we feel when we find ourselves in the absence of someone would not be so significant. The feelings of rejection and animosity carried within us would be pacified if we accepted the fact that people are experiences that help us grow, not objects of affection we are owed. The belief that people are replaceable comes from a place of dejection, but in letting go of past ties we fully open ourselves up to new possibilities. Coming from a place of love and acceptance, we are able to return to ourselves as changed beings, thanks to those experiences that helped us grow. People aren’t replaceable, but the lessons learned along with the opportunities to create new meaningful connections are interchangeable.