It’s amazing how we are able to create brief, but beautiful connections with people that feel everlasting at times. The possibility of someone’s absence seems asinine, because it feels as though they’ve always been a permanent entity within our life. We often forget that we actively chose to nurture a relationship with those we come across, as effort is always required when it comes to the cultivation of a connection. We forget that it’s also needed for sustaining the bonds we’ve formed with others, as relationships don’t maintain themselves. Maybe it’s because we’ve grown accustomed to having their presence within our life, that makes effort no longer feel like labor.
People become a part of our routine as we integrate their existence into our universe. We reserve time and space for the other person to fill, and slowly but surely we begin to merge into one another. We pick up on their mannerisms and language; a catchphrase or gesture, that was closely associated to them is found within us. Through the days, months, and years, we find ourselves aging alongside this other person while solidifying a shared connection. Who we once were becomes unrecognizable as we are now defined by memories made alongside those who know us best. From then on, our souls have intertwined and clung onto the sense of safety and comfort that we only recognize within a person. With a sense familiarity provided over the duration of time, it’s strange how we choose to let go of those we’ve created intimate relationships with.
It’d be nice to have people stay in our life, to be able to grow old with those who’ve impacted us the most. They learned the smallest details about us and somehow chose to stay, despite knowing our flaws and insecurities and all other negative traits that we carry inside. We manage to remember intricacies of the other person, the things that make them unique and distinguishable compared to the 7 billion people who inhabit the Earth. The thought of replacing them with someone new becomes impossible, because you can’t replicate the feelings, emotions, or scenarios that tied their existence together for you. If you’re lucky, you meet your soulmate(s) and never separate from them. They stay in your life no matter the circumstances and you always reserve a space for them despite life’s challenges. But what of those we’ve no longer a relationship with? What do we do with the uncovered parts, the ones that the other person has revealed within us, after the connection has ceased to exist?
Fragments of what was once concrete becomes difficult to piece together over the course of time when our memory begins to fail us. Gaps start to form within the narrative of a relationship and details get lost. A bond ceases to exist as both individuals move forward, leaving footprints within the timelines of each other’s lives. Will we still remember the people we miss when we’re 70 years old and have lived life to the fullest of its’ potential? Or will our old age relieve us of harboring onto old experiences in order to cherish the more significant ones?
There is love in letting go, whether it’s reserved for the other person or directed towards yourself. When we learn to detach and accept things for what they are, we return to ourselves with newly formed personas, ones we can nurture as life continues on. The feelings of pain and loss disintegrate after a while as time heals all wounds and experiences become memories. There is still so much time left within your life to meet new people that you’ll grow to love, learn, and familiarize yourself with. The present state of anguish will turn into the past, and a missed connection will no longer be significant. After all, does it truly matter? What’s meant to be will be, and those who are meant to be in your life never stray, not even for a moment.
Don’t be a stranger, especially to those who reserve space for you within their heart.
